Inevitably

Imagine you met a man, imagine you were an average heterosexual woman, and you met and fell in love with a man so gorgeous and charming that you swooned every time you met his gaze. Imagine you fell in love with this man at first sight, literally. Imagine you met him, your eyes met, and you just knew. This is what the love songs and the movies and the wars are all about. This. This love. This man. All clichés apply.

Imagine your love for him surprised you in ways you never, ever thought possible. Imagine he forced you to give of yourself in every way, that he demanded nothing short of the kind of self-denying devotion you swore, as a self-respecting modern woman, you would die before giving. And yet, you live, and you live for him.

Now imagine you knew that you would give years, decades even, of your life to this man, but you also knew, from day one, that you would have to give him up. Imagine you knew, from the moment he seemed to melt into your very being, that he would one day turn from you, go his own way, and love another. You will, in fact, take it upon yourself to groom this man for another to love. Because, love him unconditionally as you do, you know he has his little peccadillos that will prove problematic when the time comes for him to leave you. He leaves the seat up. He is mercurial, perhaps a tad narcissistic. And his table manners, well, you’ll do your best. But your love for him grows and grows every year.  He is actually a genius. A virtuoso and a saint. And it is your job to show him and the world what he is capable of.

Would you take him on? I mean, really, you didn’t have a choice, did you? Your love for him is instinctual, visceral, and holy.

And one day, he will come home, smiling the goofy grin you recognize from the nascent days of your love, and you will know.  He is no longer yours. He belongs to another. Another woman. Another life. Another world. And you will be left behind. Why? Because you are his mother. And you always knew you would be.