You're doing it wrong

Eat what they're served or serve what they'll eat?

Tiger mom or Attachment mom?

Sarah Jane or Sheninana Rainbow?

Helicopter or Free-range?

Educational TV or no TV?

Free-play or directed play?

Homeschool or public school?  Or private school?

Dance or scouts?  Flute or piano?  Soccer or capoeira?

Disposable diapers? Cloth diapers?  No diapers?

Disneyland or backpacking?

Forbid princesses or embrace them?

Time-outs or reasoning?

Modeling or insisting on "please, thank you, sorry, excuse me?"

Co-sleeping or crib?

Sleep-training?  Night-weaning?  Neither?

Sleep with your baby. Never sleep with your baby. Nurse all night long. Night nursing causes cavities.  Fluoride can protect their teeth.  Fluoride is poison. Talk to them constantly.  Let them play by themselves.  Hold them.  Don't hold them too much.  Make your own baby food.  Make your own toys.  No plastic! No TV! No sugar! Read from day one.  Do all the research.  Don't pay too much attention to the latest research.  Don't dress your girl in pink.  Dress your boy in pink.  Pinterest her first birthday party.  Teach your baby to swim, to read, to sleep, to entertain himself, to use the potty, to use sign language, to eat spicy foods.  Nurse as long as she wants, stop nursing at 6 months, at one year, at two years, before she goes to college.

Everything in moderation.  You can never read, nurse, play, listen, talk, sing, love too much.

School ruins kids.  Homeschooling ruins kids.  Socialization is key.  Socialization is not important.  Don't over-schedule your child.  Make sure your child has lots of opportunities to learn languages, sports, STEM, music, art, survival skills, gardening, knitting, programming, cooking.

Don't helicopter parent.  Be there for them always.  Teach them independence and leave them alone.  Make sure they wash their hands.

Your kid is perfect just the way he is.  Your kid hit my kid!  My kid is the smartest.  Don't compare your kids.  My kid isn't smart enough.  My kid doesn't talk, sing, write, read, eat, dance, hike, sleep through the night, poop on schedule, take risks, takes too many risks.  My kid knows calculus, reads at a 9th grade level, speaks fluent Japanese, builds elaborate lego structures, builds elaborate butter structures, sings opera, plays guitar, dresses himself, found a cure for the common cold.

Take time for yourself.  Never leave your baby unless you have to. No caffeine, no nitrates, no lunch meats, no unpasteurized dairy, no melons, no sushi, no alcohol, no sugar.

Recent studies show all mothers are doing it wrong.

Nonsense about #Gunsense

I've recently become very active on Twitter, you know, that other social media site, and I have learned very quickly that that is where the crazies are.  Apparently there are gun nuts, with handles like @MomsDemandLies (a surprisingly unclever take on the organization Moms Demand Action) and @HitMan41 who spend all their time searching for Tweets that mention #GunSense and tweeting back non-sensical 'arguments' in favor of gun rights and the second amendment (as they interpret it).  And then there's people like me who are stupid enough to argue back.  I'd like to think that I'm giving these people the benefit of the doubt; that if they are presented with logical and polite arguments in favor of restricting gun access and common sense gun laws they'll capitulate and recognize the necessity of such laws.  But I think I do realize now that these people aren't going to change their minds.  I'm not sure whether they aren't capable of changing their minds, or if Twitter just isn't the right medium, or some combination of these and other factors, but it's hard not to feel hopeless after reading their arguments.  So, for your reading pleasure, I thought I'd transcribe some of the most heinous, hysterical, and downright hateful tweets I've received on the subject.  If you're likely to explode with anger, I suggest reading them with a kitten in your lap or something.

I tweeted that the argument comparing spoons for obesity and guns for murders is ridiculous.  So I got many tweets in response along these lines: 
"guns & spoons are apt comparisons in that the gun doesn't cause violence in the same way spoons don't cause obesity."

Why registering guns like cars is a bad idea:
"that's called prior restraint, and is the antithesis of a right"

"Perhaps then we need to regulate EVERY object that could be used to cause death.... like shoe strings..."

"Yep, I'm all for licensing and registration in order to vote and have free speech"

Are you registered to be protected by the Constitution? NO? Hahahaha, you're fucked.


Of course, wanting gun restrictions makes me a bigot:

u just dont want poor ppl to afford guns #gunsense #bigot #classwarfare


And my favorites, the good old "making me register my guns is bad because...um...the Holocaust":

"i wanna register as a jew...wait, on second though, probably NOT a good idea"

Do they want gun owners to walk around wearing a pin to let ppl know they are gun owners too?

"i'd register my religion, but that usually works out as well as registering gun"

"she [Me] isnt familiar with the events immediately following KRYSTALNACHT."

This is what we're up against.  These are well-reasoned, logical arguments against gun control.  I'll never understand why politicians can't stand up against this.  It's nonsense.  Why is this so hard to combat in legislation?  It's not like there's this incredibly rich, incredibly powerful lobbying organization that feeds voters this nonsense and bribes and threatens politicians so they bend to their will.  Right?