I've been ruminating on this post for a while, hence my recent absence from the blogosphere. Sorry if this post is a bit rambling. I want to write about something I think is the undercurrent of all my contemplation on education. Do I trust my child when it comes to her education? Are children in general to be trusted?
If you asked me that when I taught first grade in the Bronx (about children in general, my kids weren't born yet then) the answer would have been a resounding "no." I went to work everyday thinking that I had 24 to 28 little adults who needed to be cajoled, prodded, and forced (sometimes by any means necessary) to do things (read, write, do math, stand in a line, sit quietly, refrain from threatening suicide) they really didn't want to do. Learning is hard work, I reasoned, and people are generally averse to hard work. I know I am. I started to re-think that when I was teaching pre-k, but I didn't really understand where that line of thought was taking me until I had kids, and really, until I met good friends who think about this sort of thing all the time.
I trust that my kids are going to develop certain skills without much, or really, any help from me. I trust they are going to walk, talk, eat, potty train, sing, ask "why," and develop their own personal interests. Why is it that I don't have to offer my one-year-old a sticker or a smiley face to get her to walk? Why does my four-year-old ask why constantly, without punishing her if she doesn't? Sure, I have to guide my kids, give them opportunities to do these things. I have to talk to my kids to help them learn to talk, offer them the potty when I think they have to pee, answer my daughter when she asks "why" for the bazillionth time. But coercion is not part of that equation. So why is learning to read or add or follow the scientific method any different? If I simply give my kids the opportunity to learn these things, with no pressure from me, will they? Will they know what questions to ask? Will they do the hard cognitive work it takes to practice and perfect skills? The answer at the moment is, I don't know.
A friend of mine has been giving me a ton of workbooks and learning materials recently and my daughter is all over this stuff, maybe partly because it comes from her "big sister," as she likes to call my friend's daughter. My daughter has literally been begging me to do a workbook with her. She's developed an interest in letters and writing (mostly her name) and has perfected writing a pretty awesome letter "e," something she struggled with just a few weeks ago. All with little more than the provision of writing materials and modest praise. So, yes, I guess I do trust my daughter to learn to read and write, to a certain level. But do I trust her to want to read and write well? To learn grammar? Algebra? Chemistry? Those are certainly things I had no interest in learning. And now, as an adult, there are things I'd like to learn, but lack the energy and discipline to sit down and learn them. At the end of the day, I'd rather switch off the old brain, put my feet up, and do something mindless. Why should I expect my kids to be different?
And although I trust my kids to want to be "grown up" sometimes (impetus to learn a great many things, I think), there are plenty of things I don't trust them to do. I don't trust them to know when they're tired, or when something is unsafe. I don't trust them to know how many cookies are too many, or when they need a bath. Maybe these things will come in time, but until then, I have to force them to do these things. Will I have to force them to learn? If I let them lead, I'm sure they'll learn a lot, but will that give them a complete education, by which I mean, will they develop the knowledge and skills necessary to be happy, fulfilled, and productive adults? And how will they learn to do things they don't want to do but are necessary, like clean the house, take out the garbage, and do everything a boss asks them to do, even if it seems unproductive or unnecessary?
These are the hard questions I ask myself as I start to think about what kind of schooling will be best for my kids. I wish there were a perfect balance between letting my kids completely take the lead, and sending them to a school where they'll strive for grades instead of mastery. Maybe there is. I have a lot to learn.
