You're doing it wrong

Eat what they're served or serve what they'll eat?

Tiger mom or Attachment mom?

Sarah Jane or Sheninana Rainbow?

Helicopter or Free-range?

Educational TV or no TV?

Free-play or directed play?

Homeschool or public school?  Or private school?

Dance or scouts?  Flute or piano?  Soccer or capoeira?

Disposable diapers? Cloth diapers?  No diapers?

Disneyland or backpacking?

Forbid princesses or embrace them?

Time-outs or reasoning?

Modeling or insisting on "please, thank you, sorry, excuse me?"

Co-sleeping or crib?

Sleep-training?  Night-weaning?  Neither?

Sleep with your baby. Never sleep with your baby. Nurse all night long. Night nursing causes cavities.  Fluoride can protect their teeth.  Fluoride is poison. Talk to them constantly.  Let them play by themselves.  Hold them.  Don't hold them too much.  Make your own baby food.  Make your own toys.  No plastic! No TV! No sugar! Read from day one.  Do all the research.  Don't pay too much attention to the latest research.  Don't dress your girl in pink.  Dress your boy in pink.  Pinterest her first birthday party.  Teach your baby to swim, to read, to sleep, to entertain himself, to use the potty, to use sign language, to eat spicy foods.  Nurse as long as she wants, stop nursing at 6 months, at one year, at two years, before she goes to college.

Everything in moderation.  You can never read, nurse, play, listen, talk, sing, love too much.

School ruins kids.  Homeschooling ruins kids.  Socialization is key.  Socialization is not important.  Don't over-schedule your child.  Make sure your child has lots of opportunities to learn languages, sports, STEM, music, art, survival skills, gardening, knitting, programming, cooking.

Don't helicopter parent.  Be there for them always.  Teach them independence and leave them alone.  Make sure they wash their hands.

Your kid is perfect just the way he is.  Your kid hit my kid!  My kid is the smartest.  Don't compare your kids.  My kid isn't smart enough.  My kid doesn't talk, sing, write, read, eat, dance, hike, sleep through the night, poop on schedule, take risks, takes too many risks.  My kid knows calculus, reads at a 9th grade level, speaks fluent Japanese, builds elaborate lego structures, builds elaborate butter structures, sings opera, plays guitar, dresses himself, found a cure for the common cold.

Take time for yourself.  Never leave your baby unless you have to. No caffeine, no nitrates, no lunch meats, no unpasteurized dairy, no melons, no sushi, no alcohol, no sugar.

Recent studies show all mothers are doing it wrong.