“It made me sad when I caught myself pretending that everybody out there in cyberspace cared about what I thought, when really nobody gives a shit. And when I multiplied that sad feeling by all the millions of people in their lonely little rooms, furiously writing and posting to their lonely little pages that nobody has time to read because they’re all so busy writing and posting, it kind of broke my heart.”
― Ruth Ozeki, A Tale for the Time Being*
I have more blog drafts than I have published blogs. I struggle with content because I am painfully aware of how ignorant I am. There are a bazillion things that I would like to write about. I have a lot of questions and half-formed opinions on a variety of topics from education to ethics and everything trivial and profound in between. I'm not interested in blogging about my terrific vacation. No one cares. I don't want to sell anything (this blog brought to you by think-for-yourself-o-matic!). I don't think I'm particularly smart or funny, and I certainly don't have anything novel to say.
So why blog at all? I won't lie; I love watching the page-views ticker go round and round. I love comments. But it isn't about notoriety. I think it's about two things; authenticity and community. I want to have a place where I can reveal my authentic self in relative safety. It's a place where I can carefully construct a (hopefully) moderately entertaining and truthful account of myself, my thoughts, and what I believe. This is something I can't do with a friend over coffee, because, I admit, coffee does for my mouth what it does for others' bowels. I need the filter written word provides. And there's something to be said for being able to disseminate these thoughts en masse. If I tell my friends in person that I'm not going to apologize for my messy house it sounds reproachful. But on my blog it sounds witty (she said, polishing her knuckles).
The community bit may sound a tad hokey, but I truly value others' input. If I'm blogging about a topic it means I'm probably struggling with it and want to know what others think. Which brings me to a question (and please forgive the meta-blogging): what do you, fair readers, think of the quote above?
*I loved this book, by the way, and highly recommend it.
I love the quote! And I like your ideas. I too have been thinking about the possibility of writing a blog, while also being aware of the seeming pointlessness of it. But maybe it's even more pointless just writing stuff for yourself because you know it's good for you and never sharing it (which is what I currently do). I love the quote, but now that I reread it, I would argue about the use of the word 'lonely'. I don't think that writing makes people lonely, and I never feel lonely when I am writing. I like to write because it allows me to be entirely selfish and not have to deal with other interjections and interruptions, and worries about what they might be thinking of me. It's a great relief. I would worry that writing a blog (as opposed to a private journal) would inhibit my honesty. But then, honesty is probably what is compelling about blogs. Well, maybe some day I might start a blog (for people who will never ever ever know me.)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment, Annette. I think I do find journal writing, private writing very lonely. Perhaps that's another reason I feel the need to blog rather than journal. When I have written journals in the past I've found it becomes a gripe-fest and therefore not particularly useful. The audience does inhibit some form of honesty, I guess, but I find that beneficial in focusing the writing and keeping it clean. That being said, I admire those who do journal. I think it takes discipline I lack. But if you did write a blog I would be very eager to read it!
ReplyDeletei went back and looked at my first post, where i explained why i started my blog two years ago. i continue it for the same reasons and more. http://happyerathome.blogspot.com/2012/04/because-i-have-to-start-somewhere.html
ReplyDeletetaking the quote just as it is, since i haven't read the book, i disagree. i know not *everybody* is interested in what i have to say, but i do know that *somebody* is. i am not lonely. i am patient. i am okay with not knowing if and how many people read it. it's here, just like i am, available and quiet and opening a conversation in case anyone wants to participate in their own time.
i am very glad that you have your blog to share with me. while i do love talking with you in person more, i know i can't have that, so i am content with this. <3